3 steps to building your confidence

Today I want to talk about something that is a complete game changer in your life.

I bet if I was to ask you what your confidence level is, it’s probably less than what it should be.  Now… I’m not saying that you need to have an ego or anything. In fact, I think that it is very important for people to stay grounded, but… I do think that most of us do not give ourselves enough credit.

Confidence is one of those things that does not come easily to most.  Although most of us want more confidence, our inner voice (don’t act like you don’t have one) tells us otherwise and normally lowers our confidence.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and how I really want to help other women gain more confidence in themselves.  But, before I could help others I had to dig deep and figure out the things that have helped me to build confidence within myself (yes, my confidence has been shaken a lot throughout the years…but it’s also grown).  After lots of thinking I found 3 simple things that I believe is at the root of building confidence:

• Knowing your values

• I think this needs to be the first step for building confidence.  When you know your values, they kind of act like your own personal North Star… they guide you.  Your values can help you make decisions easier, without guilt or worry that others won’t understand.  They will help you to stand strong in who you are because you are living by the values that you believe in.  It also helps you to become a stronger person.... Once you start to be confident with your values you start to become confident in yourself because they are a big part of who you are.

• Embrace your quirks
  • Here’s the thing… you are a unique individual… so OWN IT!! There is only one you… How incredible is that?  No one else shares your same story, has your same talents, has all these little quirks that make you, you… so embrace it! Everything that you’ve been through has shaped you to be the person you are today.  Now, I’m not saying this defines you, I’m just saying that all these things make you an original and that is pretty awesome.

• Stop listening so much to others
  • This is something that I have learned the hard way throughout the years.  Just like everyone else, I’ve had some people say some pretty harsh things to me...Now thankfully, I grew up with great influences in my life, so I knew that when someone says something hurtful, it’s normally more of their problem, but either way... it still stings a little.  Whenever I was faced with harsh words I would always keep my values in mind and I would also self-reflect… was I really in the wrong?  How can I calmly respond to this?  In most cases, the harsh words were coming from a place of stress or low self-confidence.  The best thing to do in these situations is to keep calm, stay nice and move on.  Once you can learn to stay calm and respond with grace, it makes the sting go away a little quicker. The other danger when listening to much to others is you can fall into the comparison trap.  Ughhhhh.  Seriously, I can’t stand the comparison game, but we all play it anyway.  Try not to get in that space where you are just comparing…everyone is different and have different circumstances.  Enjoy your own path and don’t worry so much about other people on a completely different route.

I get that building your confidence is not the easiest thing, but if you consistently work on these 3 simple steps, you will slowly start building your confidence.

Just remember, stay grounded in the process and.... It is a process.